Many of us have trouble letting go of our pain or other unpleasant emotions about our past because we think those feelings are part of our identity or story. In some ways, it's scary to let it go, as it becomes part of us. We don't know who we are without that pain.
I dare say that I’m aware of the art of letting go and practice this daily. I still have so many stories that I love to repeat unconsciously over and over again and even when I feel like I have let it go, even years later, it can often creep back in and I’m like whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat not again. Why am I still upset about this?
As a little girl, I was placed in a situation by my next-door neighbour that no little girl should be placed in. This event has had such a huge impact on me and how I relate to the opposite sex. I subconsciously made a decision that day that I didn’t realise would affect the next 20 years of my life.
I promised myself that I was never going to become a victim again or let a male put me in a position that I felt unsafe and not in control.
Years later I discovered that I placed a protective shield or mask around me and for many years wondered why I had trouble when it came to intimacy, meeting men, being vulnerable and opening myself up with men. I didn’t even realise that I was being so resistant to opening myself up, trusting men, feeling safe and letting down my defensive barriers.
Throughout my own deep healing work, therapy and meditation sessions I have realised that I needed to learn to let go of this as it was not serving or helping me anymore. Instead, it was haunting me and sabotaging any real kind of relationship that came my way.
Easier said than done. How do we just let go of something that we have been wearing and owing as our story and identity for the last 20 years. I really had to spend some deep time talking this out, seeking guidance and professional help diving into other therapies and healing techniques. I always find it super helpful to talk to a third-party person that just listens and makes no judgment but just allows me to talk it out. I’m so often surprised by what comes out of my mouth. I think everyone should have a person, therapist or coach that they can confide in. We are not taught growing up or while at school how to deal with life and the challenges that come our way.
I love also to sit and meditate, learning to get comfortable with stillness, space, my thoughts and I have found it tremendously helpful to journal about what feelings, emotions and stories come up for me. It is always surprising what comes out when I put pen to paper.
The way I start the paragraph of my journaling is like this.
Today I choose to let go off .............