It can be really hard to set some serious boundaries. Something that I find helps me indicate and sense if the task or function is going to bring me joy or not, is taking a moment long enough to pause and feel my breath. Let my body tell me how it makes me feel.
Our bodies are always telling us the answer but often we are so busy keeping ourselves busy that we don't listen or hear what our bodies are guiding us to do. Often if the idea excites me, straight away my breath and heart pulsate with enthusiasm and eagerness about the invite. ‘Yes’, straight away you know that you are going to go, ‘oh my gosh I cannot wait’, and you do actually know deep within that you do want to go.
Or do you get caught up saying, ‘Yes’ straight away and not checking how this feels within yourself. You go home and you think, ‘Oh, why did I say that, I don’t even want to go’.
It is 100% okay to pause, de-brief, reflect and have a moment to think and ponder. It’s even ok to reply, ‘Thanks for the invite. I'll get back to you in the next three days’.
When we take that moment to pause and to breathe, we can take a moment to check in, feel our gut instincts and feel if it is actually something that we want to do.
Our bodies are always giving us signs, but often we are just so quick to decide and we don’t take a moment to just sit with the invitation.
Our gut instinct is there telling us what we always want to know.
Some people I can hear asking what is our gut instinct and how can we feel it?
Our gut feeling comes from our deeper true self.
It is your immediate understanding, there's no need to think it over or get another opinion. Deep down you just know. Your intuition arises as a feeling within your body that only you experience, trusting your intuition is the ultimate act of trusting ourselves.
Our gut is always trying to give us signs to what is the best and right decisions for us. At the dinner table if we are going to eat something that we know may not be the best option for us, instead of quickly eating it, if we listened and felt it in our body, we would get a sign that maybe we shouldn't eat that. It is not the best choice for us.
Well, I know for sure that my gut tells me all the time. Carla, you shouldn’t eat that, it’s going to make you feel like shit. We often do know and hear this but then we decide to do it anyway. When we don’t listen to our gut and do the opposite, we are often making a choice that pulls us away from our natural joy state and we move into a lower vibrational state like shame, guilt, anger, frustration or regret.
Last Sunday night I was feeling so fatigued. I had a big week and just wanted to stay at home in my pyjamas, watch a movie and order some Japanese takeaway.
My friend had asked me over to her house but I just didn’t feel that I had it in me. It was so nice that she asked as we were due for a good catch up, but I had to really check in and listen to my gut and make a choice to set and act on my own boundaries. Yes, I still at times find this really hard but there is nothing wrong with saying, ‘No’.
We have to learn to listen to our gut, and feel comfortable with saying, ‘No’. With NO SHAME. NO GUILT. JUST A SIMPLE, ‘No’.
Remember we do not have to explain ourselves or justify our decision.
Thank you but, ‘No’. FULL STOP.
This has been an important and hard lesson for me to learn, not making those quick decisions.
That goes for quick decisions with anything in my life. I'm awesome at speaking before I think, so I really have to pay special attention to making decisions, especially in regards to:
- Business Ideas
- Financial Investments
- Personal Development and Coaching Courses
For a long time, I would always decide straight away, someone would say something, and I was like, ‘Yes’, I want to be part of that. I want to do it. I would hand over my credit card and bam sold. I was the easiest sales target going around. Especially when it came to self-development.
I love self-development and for a few years I was the biggest junkie for it. I still love it and still invest a huge amount of money and time but I always take a few days, weeks or even months to think about what I’m investing in and if it’s the correct decision for me at this moment.
I cannot begin to tell you how many times I was at a seminar and sitting in the audience listening to the person addressing the audience on stage and I felt like no one else was in the room, just me and they were talking to me, and as soon as they mentioned their bootcamp or course, I was up, out of my chair like lightning, running down the back to sign up.
I have even been caught at times doing this even if it was something that really was of no benefit to me or I had no interest in.
The problem was I didn’t take the time to listen, to pause and reflect, tune in and see what my gut was saying to me. I was so caught up in the hype and adrenaline of the event.
When I was looking to buy my first home, I would go to an open house and because I had it in my head that I wanted to buy a house, I thought that every house was my house.
Yes, I'm going to buy this one. I would call my mum, ‘I found the house I’m going to buy’, and then something always happened. It was out of my price range or someone put in a better offer. I was devastated but amazingly, I got over it extremely quickly, because truly it was not the right house or time for me.
But then when I walked into my house now, that gut instinct felt so strong. It was so clear inside me that I started crying because I knew this house was for me, it was mine.
I even decided to have a think about it. Not as I would normally do, that's for sure. I knew in me that it was mine. I was so ok with letting other house hunters look and I wanted to have a night to think, reflect and discuss with my parents.
It can be a hard lesson to learn but don't be afraid, again, to pause, to reflect and to tell people that you will get back to them.
Every decision or choice we make determines our destiny.
Take the time to pick the correct choices and set boundaries for yourself.